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Well, my love story won’t be like Romeo and Juliet love story,, but, it is a story settled deeply in the heart and vowed not to leave it unless the soul leaves the body.
“ A hermit in the temple of love” is my story which describes a love been built by tears and grown by pains and it is not less than the stories of those who tasted the bitterness of love and drawn in its ocean.
Hence I still abide by Allah judgment and His fatalism, pleating my pains inside my heart.
A.Bakhashwein 1984
To every lover and beau drank from the cup of love and failed in his endeavor and to every heart which pulses by love, I handsel him my story, hopefully to be for him as a comfort and solaces. So kindly accept it from me and let’s be similar in torment and suffering. Here I am narrating you my story to judge me whereas others can’t do so for me. Maybe in my asceticism and devoutness, I did not oppose the faith nor aggressed to anyone.
Dear reader, don’t bamboozle with those who allege asperity and insensibility and can control their sense and no way for the love to their hearts as if they are remaining at well-fortified fortress which never reached with love’s arrows.
I was one of those people, moreover, I was unbeliever with love and sarcastic with lovers and their stories. I ignored that if those hearts were made of stone and the breeze of love streamed into them they, could relent and agitated with life once again. But I was in my inattentiveness till that day, the day which changed my entire life and set my eyes on light and smelled in it the scent of life.
It was an early Thursday Winter morning with soft breeze laden with fragrance , I got up off my bed and stepped towards my window to enjoy the scenery of that charming morning. The sun was to be shy to quit her place and hidden among the gray thick clouds. After a while it started to rain heavily as it imagined to me that
the sky is crying and sheding tears thickly.
Suddenly, I heard a swooshing window opened from the opposite of mine. I said to myself, It might be someone shares me the same sense and enjoys the scenery of nature. As I glanced towards the window. I felt my eyes stand as if pinned to the window, and imagined the moon has replaced the sun and appeared instead to spread its warmth and brightness to the creatures.
I have never been curious to know who was that person, and wasn't my habit to follow up people's affairs, but it was the fate. The fate which let me met that angel face early morning.
first what I saw were sleepy eyes with hot beams coming from them, which made me felt their heat creeping into my body, and I couldn't knew live I am or died .
I murmured with few words I think it was the morning compliment, she repelled me only with a wide gentle smile.
She was relishing with a normal body shape which neither complaining fatness nor thinness , dark silky hair and round angel face which if she emerged it in a dark night definitely, it could change it into daytime due to its brightness and prettiness.
At the first, I stepped to the window with a dead feelings ,and here I am ! now stepping backwards to my bed with another sense...sense of love. a love from the first sight. Believe me, every thing around me was changed, even those little creatures, the small accentors which were used to sing at my window every morning were annoying me, now I am longing to hear them and wish if I could be one of them, at least I can fly to her window.
From that day and on, I commenced to visit my window from time to time inspiring hope to see her once again. How many times my hopes came to nothing whenever I miss her vision at the window...t
hat window which became as a temple of mine and I am his only hermit who pursue at it the ritual of love.Believe me, I stayed regretful over the passed days of my live life in which I deprived in them the sense of love…Fie for deprival !!
Nights gone by and days passed, and I communing her without converse . My heart lilts whenever I see her, and used to dialogue her in my rickety imagination, dialogue from one part only and thinking of her always talking to me sweetly in my daydream. I was suffering love in silence, I did not disembosom it to anyone even to my dearest friend " Magid". I lost my proper weight besides my focusing on my studies particularly, we are at the door-steps of exams due to my falling in love. people had abnegated me and my habits has completely changed, and don't find myself in mingling with others, I appreciated the desolateness and listening to love music from early dawn of morning.
because it seems as it describes my senses.How the world is beauty in lover's eyes, and how the life is precious for them in spite of their enduring.
After the tenth day of amorousness pain, and as usual, I stepped to my temple to open it, I heard the opposite window of mine opened and the full moon spring up from it, sure she was my beloved. but, this time she seems flustered and maze and interrupted my morning greeting "Can you help me please" she said. My aunt is seriously sick, we are in need for a doctor and no one here can help. Surely, I replied . I hurried up to put my clothes on and rushed to the doctor's house. After quarter of an hour we were knocking at my beloved door. she opened the door and guided us to the lady's bedroom. the doctor has performed his duty towards the patient and subscribed the medical receipt for her. I accompanied him to his house. In my return I passed by the nearest dispensary and purchased the medicine.
Some folk's calamity might be advantage to others, as they early said. It was a nice chance for me to talk to my beloved this time. So, I came to deliver her the medicine and she tried to repay me the money, but I didn't allow her to do so. She thanked me for my deeds.The acquaintance started from here, between us for the first time..and asked me about my name as she told me hers and really began to feel the whiff of love spread out in my body and submerge me with strange sense I have never felt it before . I felt it transfer me from the life of happiness to sadness or the opposite.
At the first, I thought it was merely friendship began to grow between us. and this sense was just my admiration towards the girl. but how far! ..I wish it would!. But, the love has its different sense from any other sense, exactly as a normal girl feels changes in all her sensual and psychological conditions whenever she feels the seed of the embryo grows inside her.
So did the male feels with psychologic changes in case of he fell in love.I didn't know anything from myself except worrying, frustration, and bad mood. Hence I realized that perhaps I fell in love.. Yes, the love which I was unbeliever with it and mock at it.
Dear reader, you can't believe how I tortured with this sweet sense and feeling meanwhile, I concealing it from my people even from my best friend "Magid" But Magid is not that stupid who can laugh at easily.
He perceived my secret and tried to advice me not to disregard my exams and to take care of myself and to think of my future etc.In one sunny day early in the morning I came out to the school, suddenly I met her standing shyly at the door of her house. I saluted her. Then she asked me “ I saw the light coming out of your room whole the night, were you wide-awake “?. Surely I was, as you know I am preparing for the exams and the is running. So I have to to do a great effort to perform high marks, for it’s the last year of my graduation in particular.
Believe my dear reader, how I wished her to know the reality of my vigilance and look forward to reveal her my love , but……
“May Allah help you to achieve your goals and wish you all the best” she replayed.
There in school, I was availing with body only, but my mind and senses were there , near my temple, thinking of her whenever I open my book. I imagine her angel face looming among the lines, and whenever I read a word I hear her charming sweet voice resound in my ears to the extent that sometimes my tears run spontaneously.
In short, I asked my lecturer the permission to leave off the class and rushed straight to my house. I was lucky that day to meet her again standing in the same place behind her door. “It’s not your habit to come early from school, is there anything wrong”? she asked surprisely as if she was watching and following up my to and fro.
However, I told her that I have a lot to do regarding my exams. But, she interrupted me “ at least you can take rest and sleep early tonight”. Aren’t you ?
I nodded, I have to go outdoors for refreshing with my friends. “Do you like going to the cinema” she asked me.
“Maybe, if there is a movie worth to watch” I answered.
“ I would like to go to the cinema, but I afraid to go alone, do you mind accompanying you”? she asked warmly. “ Sure, with all pleasure but, what about your aunt, dare she allow you to come with me”? I asked her.
Don’t worry about my aunt, she is very fond of you. She is always been talking about your well-mannered and good-repute” she answered me mildly.
“ Well, I will be waiting you at eve around 7.30 pm”. I promised her then, I came into my house, unbelievable to accompany my beloved to the cinema.
It was the first time to taste the happiness in my entire life. Nevertheless, there were many memories full off happiness passed in my life but, this time it tasted different. I felt that as if all things surrounding me were vivid and pulse with happiness, and all creatures were chanting for the life with the love songs.
In the evening and on time, I came out of my house to find my beloved standing with her aunt at the door of their house waiting for me. They invited me for a cup of tea, and surely I respond.
The aunt stared to introduce herself to me meanwhile, she thanked me for calling the doctor for her on that day, and was narrating the story of her fellow-wife, my beloved’s mother and how she divorced and immigrated her daughter in an early age.
I was listening to her chatter indifferently, but my mind was going out and captivated by the neatness of my beloved and she was well dressed in a way that make all the world’s princesses to regard her with envy.
Eventually, we came to the cinema, the Asher guided us to our seats and they were close to each other. In the first I was huddled up in my seat. She was sitting at my right side. After a while I changed the sitting and leaned on the cushion of her seat. Suddenly, I felt her hand lies on gently on mine. I felt a mild numb ran into my body and frozen me. I turned my face up to her and asked” Did the movie appeal to you”? “ not bad” she answered with a wide smile. “ How about going somewhere else”? I asked her .
“It would be better “ she answered.
We came out to the cinema to give the full rein to our feet to guide us to the seashore abtaining the light of the moon.
In the quietness of the night where the gentle breeze blowing and the sea was calm we sat on a rock near the sea shore and where
the light of the moon reflecting the sky's surface till we couldn't know was the sky higher up or has came to be under our feet.
I got it is a suitable time to open my heart and talk to her frankly about what I really feel inside my heart towards her.. but this three little words " I love you " can't exactly express what I feel in side my heart. So I turned to her " do you feel the happiness which I am feeling it right now" I asked. she said " not only now, I feel it whenever I see you or talk to you and how do you think my feelings will be when I am beside you.
I couldn't believe my ears, and thought that I was dreaming in my alertness as I used to be. We halted talking for a while, and then she continued asking do you think our happiness will be continued? "with a little understanding and love it may be immortal, and as we know that love is the dawn of understanding, and so as long as we love each other we can keep that happiness and make it grow up inside us, I replayed.
She said you are optimist and happy with your life, and I am quite different from you, and look at the world with a dark spectacles. at least you have grown in the amidst of your parents and family, but I did not. Just I had grown apart from my mother since the tender of my age under the colony of step mother whom never show her any sympathy.
and I feel as I am an orphan, in spite of the existence of my parents. Then she halted talking for a while. I turned to her and saw her tears running on her cheeks. " forget the past and let us start new page in our life, with golden words written by the redolent of happiness" I said. " Past isn't always dead or buried" she replayed. then she asked me " do you remember the first time we met early in the morning at our windows?. yes I nodded. She said since that day my heart felt pleasure for you, and realized that it was a love for first sight. I said "So do I ,I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.
It was at the dawn of morning when we returned back home, and printed a deep kiss on her forehead before entering her house
Dear reader, the story will be continued soon
Please keep on touch.